Ghosted

 This review may contain spoilers!

 

Ghosted follows Cole and Sadie, an unlikely young pair who have their very own famer's market meet-cute and hit it off. The catch? She ghosts him and after tracking her down he discovers she's actually an elite operative for the CIA. I found the film had a real nice goofy and light approach to the relationship and the comedy in the first act that really had some charm. Beyond this the end of the first act/start of the second boasts some pretty fast-paced action/chase scenes that really stood out.

 

Chris Evans, who played Cole Turner, works perfectly well as our hapless protagonist; Evans leans into the confusion and exasperation of his role which is a fun point of difference from his usual action bravado. Ana de Armas, who played Sadie Rhodes, is fairly convincing as the cold and tough CIA operative; yet I really liked the moments where she got to be introspective with the character or have points of genuine connection with Evans. Adrien Brody, who played Leveque, is a rare sight on the blockbuster scene and it was real fun to watch; seeing Brody leaning in to an overly serious threatening figure was quite fresh in some ways.

 

However, the best performance came from Anthony Mackie, John Cho and Sebastian Stan, who played Grandson of Sam, The Leopard and God respectively. It's an odd moment for me as a viewer when one scene elevates the whole thing I'm watching, and the fact this one is the thing I walked away loving the most really speaks to the film itself. In a film stuffed with cameos galore, the biggest cameo scene of all is this one right here and it plays like a charm. Mackie, Cho and Stan all get to do their best takes on stoic, grievous hitmen each with a tough as nails line to throw in the faces of our leads. I actually really enjoyed the one-upmanship nature of the scene; Mackie got to brag and show off, Cho was steadier and more sure of himself, while Stan actually came across as cold and deadly. Just seeing a scene like this in which the characters can really have a bit of fun with the star power they've mustered is something I really enjoyed.

 

The basis of Ghosted is the romantic tension and relationship between our lead protagonists but the nature of these characters and how they interact after the first twenty minutes really struggles to be romantic. The entire film Cole winds up being quite creepy in how he expresses affection for Sadie; Sadie is also very cold and indifferent once we start to see her as a CIA agent. But when you put these two together in a scene the result is worse, the pair are constantly arguing with one another and often express how little they care for or trust one another. The final act of the film really pushes this pair together but it doesn't feel earned. Actually, throughout the film we're told this couple has a lot of 'sexual tension' and they get asked if they "need a room" constantly (seriously that line is in the film at least ten times). The film also really abandons almost all of the comedy elements from the first act once the CIA agent reveal happens. From that point on the comedy is very physical pratfalls and crude sexual innuendo that doesn't land ever. The big CIA storyline is lazy; it's yet another dangerous bioweapon that bad guys want for their shadowy 'buyers'. This film toys with the bare bones of a B action film plot and keeps stripping away anything that would make it interesting. The film opens by pointing out the unlikely nature of this relationship but the film almost wants to start taking itself seriously in the back half which is impossible to do with the concept they're presenting us.

 

I'm genuinely shocked the director of Eddie the Eagle and Rocketman is giving me the most dull looking blockbuster of 2023 thus far, the shots are so simple that even most action sequences feel repetitive to watch. The camera work is peppered with close ups that look ghastly and the shot composition only highlights how poor the lighting crew did on this feature. The editing sets a very staggered pace and the special effects work done on this hideous CGI bugs should've never been given the greenlight. The soundtrack for the film is peppered with a confusing array of Top 40 songs that have little bearing on the film itself; the musical score is too light and carefree for the type of movie we wind up being presented with. 

Mike Moh, who played Wagner, is your classic dull henchman antagonist; Moh has been slumming it in these types of action roles for awhile now and he's not growing in them. Tate Donovan, Amy Sedaris and Lizze Broadway, who played Dad, Mom and Mattie Turner respectively, truly don't feel like a family unit; none of the performers really share any chemistry with one another or Evans that makes you care about their dynamic. Mustafa Shakir and Anna Deavere Smith, who played Monte Jackson and Claudia Yates respectively, gave the most bland CIA agent leader performances you could expect; the rules seemly poorly reversed here as Shakir looms too heavily in his scenes for his mere agent role while Smith is too meek to really come off convincing as a CIA head. Ryan Reynolds, who played Jonas, is one cameo too many by the time he enters the scene; there is something unabashedly hollow and unfunny about his appearance too which is a shame. Tim Blake Nelson, who played Borislov, is normally fantastic with a small part but is lost here; it feels like Nelson just wanted to take an unusual accent for a spin more than do a decent appearance. Stephen Park, who played Utami, is a final act antagonist that just makes the closing of the story feel too full; plus Park's crime boss is a lot more stereotypical and bland than what Brody is doing. Marwan Kenzari, who played Marco, just goes too over the top with his crude comedic character; Kenzari has never been so good at playing comedy when a more dramatic role is available. Israel Vaughan and Victoria Kelleher, who played Martin and Edna respectively, are horrible introductions to the comedic tone and potential of the film; their line delivery is weak and really grates against what Evans is trying to do.

An action rom-com with boring action, a very off-putting rom and no com. I would give Ghosted a 2.5/10.