Pinocchio

 This review may contain spoilers!

 

Pinocchio is an adaptation of "The Adventures of Pinocchio" by Carlo Collodi; or, more accurately, it is a live-action adaptation of the 1940 Disney adaptation: Pinocchio. You may have heard the tale before but to bring you up to speed: an elderly craftsman wishes on a star to bring his freshly crafted wooden puppet to life and a fairy grants said wish. The puppet then goes on various adventures with his conscience Jiminy Cricket in an effort to become a real boy. Alan Silvestri's score gives the film most of its charm, Silvestri works hard to instill a sense of wonder and adventure to this piece.

Tom Hanks, who played Gepetto, really comes at the role with as much heart as he can muster; the genuine love and sincerity Hanks pours into this role is touching if nothing else. Jaquita Ta'le, who voiced Sabina, is a real figure of genuine care and friendship in this film which I quietly liked; Ta'le's work was becoming a figure of gentle support for our protagonist in his darker moments which I admired.

 

However, the best performance came from Keegan-Michael Key, who voiced Honest John. This was a film that really played over the top and animated; Key was one of the very few performers who was able to slot into that sweet spot. In a film that is peppered with antagonists Honest John is one of the very first we meet and he sets the bar extremely high. Key has a lot of fun with this griping crook, a conniving criminal who looks to turn his lot in life to the better by any means necessary. Watching Key deliver deceitful dialogue in a honeyed tone makes it very easy to see how Pinocchio falls for his tricks so easily. I like that Honest John is Pinocchio's first introduction to dishonesty and manipulation; and out of all the villains Honest John is the one who really convincingly gets away with his crime. Key is a showman and a comedian which makes the performance and spectacle of this role shine, he enchants Pinocchio and audience alike for the time he is onscreen.

I swear they barely changed any of the script from what we got in the 1940s; except to add a character or two and make the whale a sea monster for some reason. This is a film riddled with Disney easter eggs but there's no time for it to take things slow and invite you into the story. You don't really spend time with the characters but watch as Robert Zemeckis does his level best to film an almost live action replica of the animated film. Yet there's no charm here, every role is playing over the top and there is no room for character growth or relationships to form. Themes are spoonfed to us and humour tends towards the slapstick and exaggerated performances. Pinocchio is iconic for Disney in a lot of ways; the wishing star, Jiminy Cricket and 'When you Wish Upon a Star' are massive parts of Disney ethos. But all of these big moments feel superficial in this film. An adaptation or remake should strive to meet its audience but this film doesn't feel like it has been made with a cohesive vision targetting anyone.

The cinematography used throughout is poorly framed, often because it is all set up for visual effects that constitute the majority of the feature. But the problems with the visuals go worse than that, there are often shots where characters aren't managing the sight lines to the visual effects correctly and it baffles me these made their way into the film. Every set piece feels like a small cramped sound stage, it would shock me to learn that there was ever a massive set piece in the film because it often felt claustrophobic. The visual effects looked like the budget was stretched thin. Pinocchio's design was very simplistic, almost like they went the Who Framed Roger Rabbit route but wanted to seem like the animation was more detailed and lively. In fact a lot of designs suffered from this: Jiminy Cricket, Gepetto's cat and fish, Sofia the Seagull, Pleasure Island and the donkeys to name a few. I also found the design for the whale/sea monster to be quite confusing; it seemed like an inconsistent final design that was monstrous for the sake of it. While I liked the score for the film none of the other musical numbers sung by the cast hit home; I was really underwhelmed by Tom Hanks' singing and Cynthia Erivo's performance of 'When You Wish Upon a Star' really missed the mark on an iconic number.

Joseph Gordon Levitt, who voiced Jiminy Cricket, is comfortable playing an overtly comical spin on the character; this role is all flat jokes and none of the charm that made the role so famous. Benjamin Evan Ainsworth, who voiced Pinocchio, is one of the more annoying voice performances to listen to as his tone barely changes the entire feature; this is a decidedly major problem because of him portraying the feature protagonist. Cynthia Erivo, who played the Blue Fairy, enters the film delivering lines as if she were reading from a children's picture book; Erivo is neither grandiose or wondrous which are two traits this role really demands. Lorraine Bracco, who voiced Sofia, gives my least favourite voice performance of the film; Bracco crafts a voice that feels really put on and jarring in her scenes. Giuseppe Battiston, who played Stromboli, just falls into a very two-dimensional take on this antagonist; Battiston just bellows his way through his dialogue without ever creating a captivating character. Kyanne Lamaya, who played Fabiana, really doesn't lend much as a role encouraging rebelling against one of the antagonists; I think Lamaya struggled to play against the visual effects that were constantly around her too. Lewin Lloyd, who played Lampwick, made a choice with the voice he puts on throughout the film; Lloyd's role is meant to be obnoxious but there is nothing worse than watching someone push out an accent they can't convincingly make work for them. Luke Evans, who played the Coachman, has done some very camp roles over the past few years and few have gone well for him; I found Evans really played things over the top in this film and made one of the best antagonists from Pinocchio come off as a little cheap.

What more is left to say? Pinocchio (2022) is pretty, well...wooden. I would give Pinocchio a 1.5/10.