Am I Ok?

This review may contain spoilers!

 

Am I Ok? is a slice of life/coming of age story about Lucy, a woman in her 30s who goes through the journey of coming out late in life as a lesbian. Discovering herself is made all the more difficult when her best friend, Jane, reveals that she is moving to London around the same time.

 

This is a very beautiful sort of film, it has a very genuine story to tell, and it's not really interested in wandering into the realm of absurd very much. There are a couple of places where the comedy goes a little off the walls, but our protagonists remain very down to earth even in those moments. Lucy's journey felt very authentic; from the way she isn't quick to claim a label, to how she starts learning to understand her own attractions and view of love. The significant thing with this story is that Lucy's world keeps going with or without her, she is tearing herself up a little internally trying to discover her identity, but the film still forges ahead, dragging her along for the ride. It was really important this film didn't just ignite a switch within Lucy; she had such certainty of herself in some ways, but her whole life didn't change immediately. She built up that feeling of joy from accepting and celebrating her identity the long way round, something I think a lot of people who come out late in life relate to. Watching Lucy be so vulnerable throughout this by talking it through with her best friend to opening herself up to her first female relationship, right through to reconciling the hurt when that relationship doesn't go anywhere, is what sets this movie apart. I really feel like you get to live in Lucy's shoes and go on that journey. I always really admired that the film didn't take the easy way out and push Lucy and Jane together, holding a lesbian coming out story while also reinforcing a positive platonic relationship the whole way through worked nicely. Not only that, but I loved the way humour was used in Am I Ok? with awkward little quips shared between friends, sudden camp scenes out of nowhere or just natural chemistry bringing forth a light-heartedness was all the film needed to do to achieve that slice of life comedy tone.

 

I really loved the music that weaves throughout, quite a modern electric melody that gives that easygoing LA atmosphere. The soundtrack boasted some incredible track, my favourite was 'Tarzan Boy' by Baltimora, as it served to really unite our two leads well while bringing a final note to the feature. 

Dakota Johnson, who played Lucy, has really left Madame Web in the dust with this beautiful leading role; Johnson presents an incredible journey for this awkward, quietly funny woman who is coming out. Kiersey Clemons, who played Brittany, is really flirty and engages in a way with Johnson that excites you and her; yet the distance Clemons eventually creates with Johnson will turn you against her something fierce in the right way. Whitmer Thomas, who played Ben, is quite a sweet grounded ex-boyfriend turned friend role; the scene in which he and Johnson unite and bond after she is out is one of my favourites in the film. Tig Notaro, who played Sheila, by all accounts should have the most out there role in the film, but somehow she finds the balance; Notaro is a natural comedian and knows how to draw a laugh out of an odd scenario.

However, the best performance came from Sonoya Mizuno, who played Jane. This is a character who feels like a truly inseparable best friend and pairs so well against the more reserved and awkward Lucy. Mizuno is charismatic, often dominating scenes and projecting herself as larger than life. Yet in a more intimate scene she scales back down to someone who fits the mould of her friend, she is entirely gentle and nurturing at these points. Mizuno's character descends further into stress throughout the film as she grows apart from her friend and draws closer to leaving America. Seeing her get drawn into conflict and then eventually experience great misery is a tough watch when Mizuno is so very delightful. This isn't the focal character of the film by any means, but Mizuno has found something truly real in Jane and I enjoyed watching her for that.

Am I Ok? is a really delightful film that had me on the precipice of happy tears at a couple of points, but it didn't take me the whole way. The reason for that was fairly evident early on, this is a safe film with extremely low stakes. Beyond the unique journey of Lucy coming out, the film boils down to two best friends nearly fall apart and then they make up. The scenes along the way have moments of vulnerability and conflict, but nothing that cuts too deep. Even Lucy's coming out journey feels like she is entirely held in complete security for the most part. The film could have taken a meatier bite if it wanted to, or developed into a more realised comedy if it felt strongly about low stakes. But ultimately this is a film that has a simple story to tell, and it isn't interested in compromising itself or taking risks to tell that story.

This is a film that doesn't look like it had very much budget behind it, coupled with a directing team that lacked distinct visual style. The whole film has simple, blocky shots that make this whole thing look like a cheap TV show pilot looking to be picked up. The editing also set a slower pace than was really necessary, the film is already less than an hour and a half long, so some decisive cutting would have been ideal.

Jermaine Fowler, who played Danny, feels like quite a docile role; Fowler doesn't build into his big final scene very well, and it results in a tragic scene that winds up feeling abrupt. Molly Gordon, who played Kat, really goes into overdrive with her role in this; I feel like Gordon is really pushing it quite strong with her energy levels and there's no counterbalance to it. Sean Hayes, who played Stu, feels like a novelty comic book character; Hayes goes very kooky and over the top with this in a Hallmark film kind of way.

I really reflected on this film a lot. When I came out as bisexual late in life, it felt like a big moment, but it also felt hugely isolating. This isn't the sort of movie that is going to bowl people over, but it felt entirely genuine. I will admit that this film struck a personal chord that I really appreciated and related to.

An authentic and sincere late coming out story that will leave you feeling euphoric. I would give Am I Ok? a 7.5/10.