Cats

This review may contain spoilers!

I cannot erase this film from my mind; I wish I could. I would give Cats a 1/10.

Cats is a musical film about the Jellicle cats, a tribe of cats who decide yearly one of their member to ascend to the Heaviside Layer in order to live a new and better life. In general Cats as a film serves itself best with its music. The soundtrack for the film is a wild and bizarre assortment of genres, styles and chorus pieces that show off a variety of talent and can proudly boast that no two musical performances are ever truly alike.

Taylor Swift, who played Bombalurina, is an incredibly thrilling antagonist who lures her audience into a false sense of security before springing her trap; Swift puts it all into her performance which makes her this iconic and intimidating threatening presence for her scene. Robbie Fairchild, who played Munkustrap, is a really intriguing guide for the film and one of the only performers who actually helps make sense of this mess; Fairchild's role deals with a lot of exposition and character introductions which he actually manages in a very engaging way. Judi Dench, who played Old Deuteronomy, is a very regal figure in this film; I felt Dench really embodied that sophisticated leadership role amongst the cats. Naoimh Morgan and Danny Collins, who played Rumpleteazer and Mungojerrie, have a great mischievous chemistry together; this pair are incredibly playful and devious in their performance which embodies the spirit of their roles well. Jason Derulo, who played Rum Tum Tugger, gives one of the most high energy winning performances of the film; Derulo proves that he is an entertainer with lots to give in a musical number. Steven McRae, who played Skimbleshanks, is another performer who sets a really fun tone in his character song; McRae plays to an uplifting melody that manages to pep a bit of energy back into the film. 

However, the best performance came from Jennifer Hudson, who played Grizabella. A lot of the performances that stood out in this film came from musical performers because they embraced the performance aspect of what they were doing, constantly playing things up to 110 percent. What set Hudson above the rest of these was the fact she actually allowed an aspect of her ability as an actress to shine through. Grizabella felt like a role with a story when I watched her, she was lonely and vulnerable. Hudson made you see the despair and pain her character experienced, she did a very good job of crafting empathy. If nothing else sold me on what she was doing then it would be criminal for me not to say that 'Memory' was by far the best musical performance of the film.

When I was very young one of the first performances my Mum took me to see live was Cats. It was a brilliant experience because I had never seen a stage operate with such technical craft and the musical performances were unlike anything I had ever heard. I didn't always understand what was going on but it wasn't about that, Cats was this exceptional on-stage experience that you lived in while the cast performed it. This film in a lot of ways was also an experience, a very very horrible experience. This film doesn't do a very good job at framing its narrative or characters at all, everything just turns into a bumbling blend between musical numbers with little time taken to actually allow the audience connect with the story or characters. The film really felt like this empty void of a piece to watch, with very little to say and a dismal effort at joining things together in a coherent manner. The cinematography used throughout lacks direction and uses a disappointing array of stationary shots, the editing alone sets a slow pace that lingers far too long on boring visuals. The special effects are the films significant flaw, the designs for the various animal people is absurdly bad, the animal characteristics are poorly applied and even sporadically missing at times. The production design for this film has a number of set pieces that look plain awful and remind you that this is all designed on a sound stage. Cats also boasts some of the worst wire work I've seen in a professional film in a very long time. This is nothing short of a lazy, mish-mash venture that disappoints at nearly every turn.

Francesca Hayward, who played Victoria, has to be one of the most boring leads I've ever seen in a musical film; Hayward never makes you care about or be interested in her character which is a pity as she is clearly supposed to be the vehicle through which the audience sees the world of Cats. Laurie Davidson, who played Mr Mistoffelees, is a dull attempt at a romantic interest who sits squarely in the background more than he ought; Davidson's big musical number is a big eye-roller of a piece and he never quite lives up to his leading role. Idris Elba, who played Macavity, is meant to be the big bad of the film but falls flat consistently; the film sparsely uses Elba and you get a sense that he doesn't always know the best direction to take the small appearances he's given. James Corden, who played Bustopher Jones, doesn't do anything outside of his usual persona; Corden is most comfortable when he's breaking the tone of a scene and hamming it up. Rebel Wilson, who played Jennyanydots, has an awkward sense of humour that feels off colour with the greater film; Wilson just feels out of touch with the rest of the film and never finds even footing in a scene. Ian McKellen, who played Gus The Theatre Cat, comes across as confused and utterly lost in this film; McKellen's performance doesn't show much effort and he seems like he's goofing around or lost in the middle of a scene most of the time. Ray Winstone, who played Growltiger, is the dull lackey to Elba's dull antagonist; the pair often ham things up and play quite over the top in their scenes.