Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets

This review may contain spoilers!

If this film had been made ten years ago it might've fit alongside some of the other blockbusters, but this has to be one of the most obnoxious films to have come out this year. I would give Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets a 1/10.

I will admit that one aspect of the plot that was fairly engaging was how alien culture was explored and presented, a great range of alien species were presented and certainly served to be intriguing. The special effects weren't always the best but showed great attention to detail in the space sequences; the spaceship models looked great and the Alpha space station in particular looked monolithic.

Clive Owen, who played Commander Arun Filitt, makes for an interesting role once he's revealed to be an antagonist; Owen's intense fits of rage reveal the dark side to this military leader. Ethan Hawke, who played Jolly The Pimp, is quite a light-hearted character rooted in debauchery; Hawke really has fun with the role and provides a good introduction to Rihanna's character. Sam Spruell, who played General Okto-Bar, really sells you on a more moral military leader role; Spruell presents a calm and resolute figure which contrasts greatly with Owen's performance.

However the best performance came from Rihanna, who played Bubble. This performance really impressed me because it was a role that actually had something to say, there was some meaning behind their character that motivated their presence within the film. Rihanna definitely crafted an alluring, seductive and mysterious role when first she appeared onscreen; you were convinced that she was an alien exotic dancer. However as we came to know her character it grew quite abundant that she had lived as a slave for most of her life and truly craved freedom. I loved the amount of effort Rihanna put into that backstory, it solidified her as a character. The character grew quite witty and was a fun presence in the film after that; frankly seeing her killed off ultimately seemed like a waste of a good character.

This film really didn't have a good sense of pace, or even placing itself for that matter. The film begins by showing relationships that we as an audience are supposed to take for granted, it feels like there's a prequel that we've missed out on along the way. For any moment of the film where a new element is introduced we're dealt a great deal of lengthy exposition to understand it which really gives the story quite a laboured feeling. The film spends it's time introducing quirky elements of the setting or characters rather than pay any great attention to establishing and advancing the plot. There are some moments within the plot that are discussed at length as if they've been well-established throughout the film, but have in fact only briefly been touched upon. The two main characters of Valerian and Laureline are very stale and don't match one another well at all; the romantic subplot with these two is an utter cringe-fest. The cinematography of the film relies too heavily on the special effects doing all the visual work, often throwing up moments of lousy or empty framing. The special effects for the majority of the movie aren't actually that great and feel like something out of a film ten years ago; the CGI that comprises the various aliens and creatures is appalling and it's clear the budget was stretched too thin. The score for the film wasn't entirely consistent and had quite a childish tone; the soundtrack likewise couldn't decide what it wanted to be and displayed a lot of inconsistencies.

Dane DeHaan, who played Major Valerian, is a rather obnoxious protagonist at the best of times; DeHaan brings out a rather vain role who you'll struggle to relate to after he describes himself as a 'bad boy' in his first two minutes of screen time. Cara Delevingne, who played Sergeant Laureline, was a character who was incredibly inconsistent; at times Delevingne felt like a tough agent with her own agency, other times she was the romantic interest and damsel in distress. Herbie Hancock, who played the Defence Minister, is a role that is very heavily there to move the plot along; Hancock's appearance onscreen often signals we're about to get some exposition dealt to us. Kris Wu, who played Sergeant Neza, often falls into the background after standing behind Spruell for too long; Wu's really just here to provide a face for Spruell to bounce his dialogue off of. Alain Chabat, who played Bob The Pirate, is perhaps one weird 'Spy Kids' like role too many; Chabat's introduction to the film comes quite late in the plot and feels like an out of place addition. Elizabeth Debicki and Barbare Weber Scaff, who voiced Emperor Haban-Limai and Empress Aloi respectively, are stoic roles that are hard to connect with; the film really relies on these being sympathetic roles but their toneless voice performance makes this hard to reconcile. Ola Rapace, who played Major Gibson, is quite a generic military role introduced early in the film; he pushes the plot along but is never developed before being hastily killed off. John Goodman, who voiced Igon Siruss, didn't really fit the aline crime boss; his performance was quite cartoonish and didn't feel threatening. Eric Lampaert, who played Guide Thaziit, was an over the top and vaguely racist character; Lampaert was comfortable dishing out lowbrow comedy by the bucketful. Grant Moninger, Robbie Rist and Christopher Swindle, who voiced the Doghan-Dagui respectively, were a rather creepy trio who came off as bad comic relief; they were a real nuisance and given far too much screen time.