Baywatch

This review may contain spoilers!

This is a film that doesn't really even bother to construct a plot until about halfway through the feature. I would give Baywatch a 2/10.

This film is good when it's focused upon the lifeguards who are over the top in how they guard their beach; seeing this film as some big slapstick crime comedy worked in places. The film also manages to corner the awkward comedy quite well; especially capitalising on one of the funnier characters, Ronnie, who breaks out into wild dancing and insistently begs not be stuck in the 'tech guy' role. The cinematography for the film is also pretty good for a comedy feature, chase scenes and big rescue operations are particularly impressive to watch unfold.

Dwayne Johnson, who played Mitch Buchannon, makes a fairly decent lead for this film; Johnson plays a very over the top role quite well. Zac Efron, who played Matt Brody, is making quite the impression as a comedic performer; his hot shot cocky role is really suited to Efron and comes quite naturally to him. Ilfenesh Hadera, who played Stephanie Holden, is a really tough presence in this film; Hadera really plays off Johnson well and is a solid leading presence throughout the feature. Jon Bass, who played Ronnie Greenbaum, is one of the strongest comedic performers in the entire film; Bass has some real range and knows how to commit completely to a joke. Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, who played Sgt. Ellerbee, has a fun rivalry with the Baywatch performers over the course of the film; his stern back and forth dialogue makes for some fun exchanges.

However the best performance came from Priyanka Chopra, who played Victoria Leeds. Chopra clearly has the chops to play a great villain and she knows it. In all her scenes she carefully toys with and manipulates her adversaries, you believe that she's quite a sharp antagonist. Chopra has an intensity to her that makes her dangerous, and you are convinced that she'd kill any of the opponents which stand in her way. The comedy that is constructed for this role is quite dry and sarcastic but it really fits Chopra and you'll get many well delivered moments from her throughout the film.

This film really struggles to have anything that you can really describe as plot; the second half of the feature focuses upon the drug ring bust by the Baywatch team but it takes forever to get there. The first half of the film can loosely be described as character introduction and relationship building but it takes too long and feels purposeless, many of the scenes seem to be gags and never serve the story. The second half of the feature, while having a story, fails to deliver anything new or with much thought put into it. The comedy used throughout the film is riddled with gratuitous references, dick jokes and cheap lowbrow humour; it's hard to find a comedic line that doesn't feel like it was written by a struggling stand up comedian. The characters themselves are very stereotypical and don't have much to them, it's very clear this is a film with minimal effort put into it. The editing of the film looks sloppy, the cuts between shots really pull you out of this lackluster comedy by revealing the poor set up of cameras. The soundtrack for the film is riddled with the latest top 40 songs of the past two years and these aren't really constructed in a way that they do much for the film.

Alexandra Daddario, who played Summer Quinn, is one of the most forgettable actresses in the film; Daddario proves that she has nothing to provide to the film in terms of her character or chemistry with other cast members. Kelly Rohrbach, who played CJ Parker, is quite usually the butt of the typical sexy Baywatch lifeguard jokes; however what really makes Rohrbach's performance so bad is how absolutely cringeworthy the romance subplot is between her and Bass. Hannibal Buress, who played Dave The Tech, is an amazing comedic performer who is absolutely wasted in this film; Buress has a severe lack of screen time which is a shame because he would have been a good fixture in this film. Rob Huebel, who played Captain Thorpe, has very little screen presence; his 'big reveal' as another antagonist is a shock to no one and poorly portrayed by Huebel. Amin Joseph and Jack Kesy, who played Frankie and Leon respectively, were exceptionally generic henchmen roles; the film tried to build them up as comedic characters but didn't really give them the screen time to make this effective. Oscar Nunez, who played Councilman Rodriguez, is completely forgettable against Chopra's performance; this is a very stereotypical corrupt politician role who is only really in the film to be killed off. David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson, who played The Mentor and Casey Jean Parker respectively, are cameos that feel very out of place in a Baywatch film as bad as this; they give it a go but their presence doesn't really serve or even fit the film that much. Clem Cheung, who played Murray Chen, is more of a plot point than a character; Cheung is quite content being shoved into the background like a prop in his scenes.